Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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