I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
