how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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