If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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