he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
