i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize