Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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