i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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