You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
