Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
