i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So many bounce houses so little time
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
