Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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