i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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