So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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