I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
