i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
