so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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