Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize