He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
