Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
