why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
