Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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