i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize