and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
