Its about making memories worth repressing
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
