Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
