i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
