as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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