I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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