so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
