why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Congratulations! We have a period
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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