there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
