Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No stitches, just platelets and will power
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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