Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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