I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
