just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
