i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
