This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
