Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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