I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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