Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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