it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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