Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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