ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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