Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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