You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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