My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
