Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
