Porn is love you can see.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize