Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
