i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
