They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
