Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
