Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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