Is it because I queefed?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
My feet surprised me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
