We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
