This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
