somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
