Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
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