I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
home. puking in laundry basket.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize