so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dignity is for republicans.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
