id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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