put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize