Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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