He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
