We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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