I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
don't judge my taste in strippers
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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