she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
