Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
His hands were made for my vagina.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
