i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
