i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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