I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
