Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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