Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
