there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
