I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
