Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize