Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
