when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
