Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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