Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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