Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize