They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I don't think brook has ever known best
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
