I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Sext me about skeletons
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
COCAINE IS GR8
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