great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Your dad touched me again.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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