I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
