It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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