How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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