I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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