Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
