ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
