She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize