I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
